Sunday, January 16, 2005

a Long December

actually, December was not long enough. everything has flown by, and it all seems so far away now. (with the distance of time the memory becomes fonder. i know i'm repeating myself endlessly - "the price of a memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings") every december, there is (or rather, was) the excitement of not having to go to work, a holiday (sometimes fishing), and obviously christmas drinks, the birthday disappointment (hangover day for everyone lah - how to still drink on your birthday?!!!) and then the new year's eve anticipation followed by thoughts of what you have (not) done that year.

i know its a bit late for the New Year's reflection, but all that caution on NY's eve trying to avoid fucking fiery things that people throw on the ground that spin in a random direction really took it all out of me. i can't say that i didn't enjoy it because honestly, i like fireworks. there is something about the explosive colours that is so unreal.

i guess last year, the birthday disappointment was more significant because the tidal waves hit. we all try to make sense of it - we all try to help. who is sending what message? is it all arbitrary? - a design for life, a design of god.

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