Monday, February 28, 2005

gosh - my foot hurts. its all the bruises sustained whilst in the cast. not nice.

the cast is removed!

Originally uploaded by monster-ru.
well, what can i say - hospital trip was mostly good. the doctor said that the bone is 90% healed, and i don't have to use the cast anymore. as you can see from the photo, my right foot is swollen, with some rashes. (yuicks!)

the process of removing the cast was - um - the funnest part of the trip. the lady was nice and asked me if it was my "first time" (ahem). she then proceeded to describe what the feeling might be - "loud", "vibrations", and "you might feel a bit hot" me? i thought i was just getting my cast removed? then i saw the disc-blade - that got me a bit nervous (but she might have interpreted that as excited?) and she reassured me that the blade is blunt. so then she put on some kind of ear plugs and sawed the cast in 2 places, R & L down the sides of the foot.

she was actually right. the blade was blunt cos several times, i could feel it against my foot, but it didn't even cut through the cotton that was protecting my foot. and oh god - did it vibrate. but it wasn't hot although it tickled, which was a strange nice sensation.

after the cast was off, i couldn't stop rubbing my foot against the nice material of my jeans (other leg). people must think i'm mad. it was just so nice that the skin on my bad foot can now feel. i was trying not to turn myself on. :-P

when i got home, i spent 30mins cleaning my foot. (ok - i will spare you the details because it is really quite gross.) and then i measured my calfs. the difference is 2 inches. hmm... i am supposed to start trying to walk, but my foot hurts too much from lack of using in the last 6 weeks. still, i am trying.

and also, no exercise for at least a month... sigh...

Sunday, February 27, 2005

"woof!woof! i was here!" - Belle

traces of belle
Originally uploaded by monster-ru.
this morning when i came out of the bedroom, i heard a little noise, and there was belle, outside my door to greet me. i had this feeling that she had been up to some mischief, but didn't bother about it too much because she is usually not the naughty one.

just earlier, i was sitting on the tv room sofa and saw this!!! judging by the amount of doggy hair she left behind, she must have been sleeping here for a damn long time. man, she is really good at getting in and out of places. to her, there is no such thing as a barrier.

a not-so-pretty photo

the cast
Originally uploaded by monster-ru.
(i am finally posting a photo on my blog!)

thought i might as well put a photo of the cast here. if you look closely enough, (sorry if this puts you off) you'll see that the skin on the fourth toe is of a lighter shade where the skin has peeled. and that, i think, should be the original colour of my skin.

yuicks. what a weird post.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

the talipot palm

if no one else has seen it, you should go before these flowering palms die. they flower once in their lifetime, between 30-80 years. then they die. there are still some at the botanic gardens, so you should go catch them. :-)

even more foot-notes

ok - i know the title is a bit lame, but this is really quite gross. the skin on my bad foot is peeling! its started with the fourth toe!!! i have absolutely no idea why, but i hope it is a good sign...

Friday, February 25, 2005

a tiny experiment

i didn't drink *any* coke today. i have been having trouble sleeping, and i thought it was because i was drinking too much coke. (ok - too much vodka coke light) so i decided that i won't have any today, and see if i am still suffering from sleeplessness. i confirmed that it was actually all the discomfort and pain from the foot that's adding to my not sleeping properly.

the leg + foot have shrunk and i can now easily put one finger into the cast. the means that my foot can actually move around slightly in the cast. i also have no more flesh around my ankle to cushion it from the fiberglass stuff, and i can actually feel my poor bone against the nasty cast, thus making it very painful for my foot in any position. not nice.

keeping my fingers crossed for monday's hospital trip. i really hope they take it off.

the game that didn't happen

so my long-awaited poker night was hijacked by my friends, who all seem to prefer playing mahjong. so mahjong it was. they are all pretty seasoned players so needless to say, i lost the most. and we were playing "real" money. halfway through the game - actually, not halfway as it was only north-wind - i was already bored. not that i don't like playing mahjong. it was more the fact that i was actually looking forward to playing some real poker. at the end of it, i was feeling rather un-satisfied and empty. oh well, next time i won't let that happen... if there is a next time.

new ipod mini!!!

a new 6GB model, 18 hrs of battery life!!! what more can i say? win already lor.

i'm also thinking about re-ripping my CD's into the AAC format so i can fit more songs onto my ipod/mini. there are 354 albums listed in my itunes. but a few of these are singles and some of them are not full albums. still, i think that makes around 200 albums to re-rip. gosh.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

more foot stories

oh - today i also heard a kid refer to me as "elder sister" (in hokkien) rather than "auntie". haha - kids are always fascinated by the injured foot because they don't know what's wrong with it. it kind of makes some parents embarrassed when they ask them. sometimes i smile or say hi to kids who stare. you just can't get annoyed by their innocence. its the adults who annoy me. they always ask "what happened?" and then the reply - "i fractured my foot" doesn't seem to satisfy them. (nor is it enough to get rid of them. maybe i'm too subtle when i state the obvious and i need to be more g.l.) they always want to know the *whole* story, even though i don't. even when you are trying to have some food or something, they still want you to talk to them!!! sometimes they even come up with their own versions. this really really annoys the hell out of me. maybe i should start coming up with a different fancy story each time from now on. i think i might start with"rough sex by myself".

foot incidents - er - accidents

my cast itches like hell. (and my foot still hurts too) ask me what i would give up to have it removed right now. banged it on the floor when i was in the kitchen just now, and earlier on, someone dropped her half full Nalgene water-bottle (size - 1l. or more!!!) on it. Nalgene plastic bottle vs. fiberglass cast... hmm. i just hope that, despite all these unfortunate little happenings, when i go to the hospital next monday, they will tell me that my foot is healed. doesn't matter that they use this nasty disc-razor cutter.

also watched so much crap on tv today - i think i watched more tv today than the whole of this year put together. i need to spend my time in better ways. well, at least i stayed at home.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

again, nothing very much to post about - but let's just say that i've been drinking.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

keeping time

i have officially not left the house for nearly 50hrs, and i have not had any alcohol for about 43hrs or so. why i feel the need to post this, i don't know. but it must be said that i am running very very low on fags, and it may be soon that i'll have to make a trip down to the 7-11 and get myself some. or not.

we'll see.

"have you ever seen the rain?"

i think today is the first day i've seen rain since i came back to Singapore. man, i was actually woken up by the rain. (ok - i know it was already past mid-afternoon when it rained here, but i had only gone to bed at 6am, and was then woken up by a phonecall at 6.55am, and a few thereafter...) so the windows were open, and i thought that since it was only a tiny drizzle, i'd stay in bed. then very quickly, what seemed like a drizzle had turned into this violent rain. crutches on wet floors just don't work. when i got to the tv room, it was like raining in the flat, through the window. i kind of wished that i could have left it like that and just watch it for a while. but i got sensible and closed the windows before i got drenched. it made me think of that time when we were in taman negara, when it was pouring down and we were in that tiny boat. it was strangely beautiful, but temporal.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

turning 30 + (inevitably) other CC related thoughts

turning 30 - actually i haven't given this much thought, (since i have only turned 29 not so long ago) but it seems i am starting to use it as an excuse for all the bad things that happen. i mean - things and people can change all the time, and change is sometimes necessary, so why am i thinking that going into a new decade makes people go funny?

i think i need to loop "A Murder of One". i always thought that it is a really positive song.


The Junior Varsity has killed "Rain King". i resent the fact that they did such a horrifying rendition of such a good CC song and even put it on the album that is titled "A Tribute to Counting Crows".

"These train conversations are passing me by
And I don't have nothing to say
You get what you pay for
But I just had no intention of living this way
I need a phone call
I need a plane ride
I need a sunburn
I need a raincoat"

- CC, "Raining in Baltimore", AAEA
(when i do get keyboards, this will be the 1st song i'll play)

Giving Up

lately there have been suggestions to me of giving up smoking and drinking. this is really tough for me as i do actually enjoy these things. but i am thinking i should give it some serious thought. i mean - seriously. if there are people (husband included) who think it important enough to say it, then it is only right that i treat it with equal importance and perhaps make a real effort to rid myself of the self-destructive bad habits that i have. after all, immortality fades even more rapidly as you approach the (dreaded?) Three-0.

if anyone has actually bothered to read all the lyrics to Mrs P, you should really go listen to the song.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

all Mrs P's L

ok - don't ask me why, but i feel the need to post the entire lyrics to Mrs P's L tonight. all (nearly) 8 minutes of the song. i think it must be one of the best songs ever written. really.

so here it is:

Well I woke up in mid afternoon cause that's when it all hurts the most
I dream I never know anyone at the party and I'm always the host
If dreams are like movies then memories are films about ghosts
You can never escape, you can only move south down the coast
Well I am an idiot walking a tightrope of fortune and fame
I am an acrobat swinging trapezes through circles of flame
If you've never stared off into the distance then your life is a shame
And though I'll never forget your face sometimes I can't remember my name

Hey, Mrs. Potter, don't cry
Hey, Mrs. Potter, I know why
But, hey, Mrs. Potter, won't you talk to me

Well there's a piece of Maria in every song that I sing
And the price of a memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings
And there is always one last light to turn out and one last bell to ring
And the last one out of the circus has to lock up everything
Or the elephants will get out and forget to remember what you said
Oh and the ghosts of the tilt-o-whirl will linger inside of your head
Oh and the ferris wheel junkies will spin there forever instead
When I see you, a blanket of stars covers me in my bed

Hey, Mrs. Potter, don't go, I said
Hey, Mrs. Potter, I don't know, but
Hey, Mrs. Potter, won't you talk to me

Well all the blue light reflections that color my mind when I sleep
And the lovesick rejections that accompany the company I keep
All the razor perceptions that cut just a little too deep
Hey, I can bleed as well as anyone but I need someone to help me sleep
So I throw my hand into the air and it swims in the beams
It's just a brief interruption of the swirling dust sparkle jet stream
Well I know I don't know you and you're probably not what you seem
oh, but I'd sure like to find out
so why don't you climb down off that movie screen

Hey, Mrs. Potter, don't turn
Hey, Mrs. Potter, I burn for you
Hey, Mrs. Potter, won't you talk to me

When the last king of Hollywood shatters his glass on the floor
and orders another
Well, I wonder what he did that for
That's when I know that I have to get out cause I have been there before
So I gave up my seat at the bar and I head for the door. Yeah.
We drove out to the desert just to lie down beneath this bowl of stars
We stand up in the Palace, like it's the last of the great pioneer town bars
oh, we shout out these songs against the clang of electric guitars
Well, you can see a million miles tonight
but you can't get very far
oh, you can see a million miles tonight
but you can't get very far

Hey, Mrs. Potter, I won't touch and
Hey, Mrs. Potter, it's not much but
Hey, Mrs. Potter, won't you talk to me

Monday, February 14, 2005

random thoughts of an insomniac

recalling a recent post about ipods as gifts... well, i'm glad to say that i've finally gotten an ipod for someone as a present, the (happy - i hope!) recipient being N. although i thought about keeping it for myself, i always thought that it is nicer to be a giver of the ipod than a receiver.


looking at what N has for his meals, i am sometimes envious.

this is what i basically eat: (and have been eating for the time i've been in singapore)

- some kind of instant noodles
- ham & cheese sandwiches
- scrambled eggs over bread w cheese (and sometimes a slice of ham)
- tofu in some kind of easy-to-make soup (and sometimes with some veg)
- other soups

don't get me wrong. i love these things - that's why i keep eating them. but it was a nice change during the CNY week as i got to also eat other things that i like - roast chicken, pasta...

i am also amazed at what is in the bottom of the fridge:

- 24 cans of coke light
- 2 bottles of low-fat milk (there were 3)
- 2 bottles of sparkling water (quite large)
- 1 bottle of evian (large)
- 2 bottles of sunkist orange juice (tiny - actually, one left)
- 1 bottle of lemon juice (large)
- a pack of onions (???)

oh well, i guess i am not going to run out of drinks, that's for sure. maybe these drinks are there to keep me away from the *real* drinks in the top compartment of the fridge. :-P


why do some people intentionally ask me about the f**king itchy cast and then go to great lengths to try to "actualise" the itch? and then the smile that accompanies all this, its like the person's said the nicest thing about you.

NASTY i say! luckily, i've had much training in the "mind over matter" department. i didn't fall for it. :-)

memories of anti-valentines day

it was funny, the other night K and i were recalling the crazy anti-V day party we all had at T's place years ago. and i was thinking to myself last night - gosh, that seems so unreal now. that night, i guess it was pretty "wild", (ok - for *some* of us. not all lah) compared to what we do now (civilised pub quizzes, no one getting roaring drunk) i mean, if you ask me if i can imagine ~name deleted~ going "excuse me whilst i go and puke into the drain" now, not a chance!

so even though the spouse-less this year didn't get together for an anti-V day of sorts, we did get to play mahjong on saturday morning which was cool. and then some kind friends took me to the cinema. i got to watch Tony Leung in a relatively silly, but quite entertaining movie which i would never have seen if Constantine was not sold out.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

"Time expands and then contracts..."

"Time expands and then contracts
When you are spinning
In the grips of someone
Who is not an ordinary girl"
- Counting Crows, "Hard Candy"

"Time expands, then contracts,
all in time with the stirrings of the heart."
- H. Murakami, "Kafka on the Shore"

it's when you smile because someone else's smile has made you smile too.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

a quick thought about the lunar new year

i guess in a way, the chinese are lucky (ok - and all the many others who also celebrate other new years) because we basically have a second chance at getting the new year right. say if you've screwed up anything between 1/1/05 - 8/2/05, you can still treat it as the "last year" and still hope you have a bloody good rooster year ahead. (hmm...actually, is there any rule that prevents someone from using more than one calender??)

in any case, any new beginning should be taken positively. so happy lunar new year my friends.

Monday, February 07, 2005

(cc ref)

"Don't ask me to come around and make me wait to see if there's a spark" - HC

5 and a bit hours later, i'm still at SODS.

morning at SODS

i must confess - 8.15am is the earliest i have ever arrived at a pub. SODS is open for the Superbowl. not that i watch American Football or anything, but having some nice sausage rolls and bacon sandwiches for breakfast seemed like a good idea, and a nice change from cup noodles for the last few weeks. and it was nice. and so are the bloody marys.

the only problem now is that i am slowly getting sleepy and am kind of longing for my nice comfy bed where i can be dead to the world. (that is when i actually manage to fall asleep). the reason for this sleepiness is that i haven't actually slept all night, because the pain from the foot is actually preventing me from falling asleep. (and this, also the cause of many many sleepless nights.)

i actually banged my foot on the floor quite hard yesterday, and i thought i should probably take better care of it. so i'm having to (and have been trying to) sleep in a position unfamiliar (and uncomfortable) to me. in any case, the painkillers prescribed by the doctors don't really work, and the danger of "alternative" painkillers is that you may pass out in a position that could transform your toes into sausages that may not even appeal to the biggest of foot fetish-ers.

but i think i am actually in a win-win situation now. i can continue drinking those bloody marys, (which will hopefully keep the pain away,) and since i'm not at home anyway, there is no danger of falling asleep in *any* hazardous positions. oh - and hopefully, the pain in my wrist will subside too. i think its a recurring pain. :-P

Friday, February 04, 2005

i can't f***ing sleep again!!!

ok - the title says it all. that's why i'm blogging at 4ish-fucking-a.m.

i had a really nice dinner with one of my ex-s, and a really nice chat. then we didn't know where to go , and inevitably, we ended up at bo's. i kinda passed her off as my youngest sister and i insisted she left not so late (which is 1-ish) cos she went home at 7am the day before and i kind of still feel responsible for her (even though she is now 20!).

so at dinner, i had 3 glasses of wine, and then i had a couple of drinks at bo's. (B bought me a bottle of absolut, which was really nice) then, the staff were a bit like vultures... (ok - F in particular) when he saw the bottle of nice vodka, he was going to pour himself some. i mean - what the fuck?! i just bought him a couple of drinks like 2 nights ago, and then some of them have been giving me grief for no particular reason and now they are supposed to be my best mates?!

so anyway, i've had enough to drink, and i should be sleepy. yet my head is filled with a zillion thoughts. why? i am tempted to say that it is the caffeine in the coke that is keeping me up. that *must* be the case.

in any case, i hope this night of sleeplessness is not followed by another few weeks of insomnia. otherwise, with any more sleep lost (read: no proper repair for the foot + itch like hell), i'm going to either be super good at meditation (special thanks to tym for the other night, who kept reminding me "mind over matter" - i will try) or my foot will be lost for sure from the extra probing from the super-long chopstick.

(N told me earlier he bought Films about Ghosts off iTunes, and i am absolutely shocked. :-))

"the circus is falling, down on its knees,
big-top is crumbling down" - CC, RiB, AAEA.

the last 2 evenings

met up with C & C last night. i didn't want to go to bo's because one of the bar staff (B) has been giving me attitude and if i have to part with my $, i don't see why i have to take shit and be treated like a non-paying customer when i have clearly not crossed his path. (wa lao - how to cross when i'm on fucking crutches?!) i swear - some members of the male specimen have got strange tempers far worse and unfathomable than women who suffer terribly from the infamous PMS.

so unfortunately, one of the C's suggested going to bo's and i reluctantly agreed. (hell, it was that or molly malone's which i believe would have been far more hazardous to my well-being.) but we did have a good time. C was pretty pissed by the time she got to bo's, and we had a good laugh talking about our secondary school days. the friend she brought along was also obsessed with "hot rods" (hmm...whose i wonder?) so she provided a lot of laughs as well. it was weird because towards the end of the evening, C suddenly got a bit serious and asked me if i was happy. i think it might have been a cue for us to actually ask her if she was, and maybe she wanted us to know that she wasn't, or maybe it was a genuine question.

in any case, it was a good evening, as was the night before when we went to have beef noodles at purvis st., followed by nice dessert at ah chew's on liang seah st. i was pleasantly surprised with my nice steamed milk with egg? or was it milk with steamed egg?? can't remember, but it was very much like cold tau huay, which was nice, and i don't have dessert like 99% of the time. so i would definitely recommend it. for the beef noodles though, go to the one at far east square!

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

my maternal grandmother

got a ring from my dad this afternoon and he said that my grandmother had rung him earlier in the morning to ask about me.

it is really nice to know that even though i don't see her very much now, she still thinks of me and cares about me. nevermind that when i rang her at her place, i couldn't remember half the teochew i used to know when i was a kid.

i can't remember the last time i felt this warm fuzzy feeling, and it kind of makes the itch more bearable. :-)

so i would like to thank god for giving me such a nice grandmother. and the other one as well because she is just way cool.